The Meme and Jokes Thread

[BU508A]

The "Talk"
Source: https://imgur.com/gallery/EvhO667

[mnementh]

I just wanna adopt one of Schrodinger's kittens.

mnem
well, duh-uhhh... the anti-clockwise one, of course.

[BU508A]

I just wanna adopt one of Schrodinger's kittens.

mnem
well, duh-uhhh... the anti-clockwise one, of course.

I don't believe that Med will send Harley to you.

Edit: Typo

[mnementh]

I've observed that kitten; it is real/alive and therefore no longer in superposition.

mnem
*airmails Haley a draco-snak*

[ch_scr]

Now for something more.. light hearted

TE-spending.png

[BU508A]

REWARD!

REWARD OFFERED:
A REWARD OF 500 MICROFARADS IS OFFERED FOR THE INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF HOP-A-LONG CAPACITY. THIS UNRECTIFIED CRIMINAL ESCAPED FROM A WESTERN PRIMARY CELL WHERE HE HAD BEEN CLAMPED IN IONS AWAITING THE GAUSS CHAMBER.
HE IS CHARGED WITH THE INDUCTION OF AN 18 TURN COIL NAMED MILLI HENRY WHO WAS FOUND CHOKED AND ROBBED OF VALUABLE JOULES. HE IS ARMED WITH A CARBON ROD AND IS A POTENTIAL KILLER. CAPACITY IS ALSO CHARGED WITH DRIVING DC MOTOR OVER A WHEATSTONE BRIDGE AND REFUSING TO LET THE BAND-PASS.
IF ENCOUNTERED, HE MAY OFFER SERIES OF RESISTANCE. THE ELECTROMOTIVE FORCE SPENT THE NIGHT SEARCHING FOR HIM IN A MAGNETIC FIELD, WHERE HE HAD GONE TO EARTH. THEY HAD NO SUCCESS AND BELIEVED HE HAD RETURNED OHM VIA A SHORT CIRCUIT
HE WAS LAST SEEN RIDING A KILOCYCLE WITH HIS FRIEND EDDY CURRENT WHO WAS PLAYING A HARMONIC.

Source:
https://mastodon.ai8w.ddns.net/@admin/111081766413936387

[Cubdriver]

D9A78E5C-B1B1-4FBC-8F90-319446E02C92.jpeg

[tggzzz]

D9A78E5C-B1B1-4FBC-8F90-319446E02C92.jpeg

Not true. It depends on the averaging period. Example: depending on the averaging period my heartrate varies between 220 bpm and <1µbpm

And yes, it is possible for almost all employees to receive less than the average salary. Consider a small company with a single owner, salaries £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £1000k.

That's why the mean value is such a misleading number: you need to see the PDF or CDF and often the 95th percentile is more revealing.

[mnementh]

That's not how "always" works, either.

mnem
Numbers DO lie; pretty much any time they're being employed by a businessman.

[dl6lr]

Not true.

I remember reading an article in the newspaper where the author complained 50% of the students performing below average.
I was laughing out loud and said to my son: The author is clearly member of that part...

[Specmaster]

D9A78E5C-B1B1-4FBC-8F90-319446E02C92.jpeg

Not true. It depends on the averaging period. Example: depending on the averaging period my heartrate varies between 220 bpm and <1µbpm

And yes, it is possible for almost all employees to receive less than the average salary. Consider a small company with a single owner, salaries £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £10k, £1000k.

That's why the mean value is such a misleading number: you need to see the PDF or CDF and often the 95th percentile is more revealing.

No prizes for guessing who it is that gets the £1000k salary.

[Cubdriver]

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[Cubdriver]

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[mnementh]

This explains everything.

mnem
When bd139 says "They're all bell-ends!" he's being literal.

[BU508A]

Bird_Boardhouse.jpeg

Source:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BirdsArentReal ... org_birds/

[BU508A]

How a linguist takes mathematics ad absurdum:

ten plus ten is twenty.
eleven plus eleven is twenty, too.

[mnementh]

What's dry and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside? It starts with a C and ends with a T, and there's a U and a N in it.

A: A coconut.

mnem
retaliatory strike.

[BU508A]

This one just only works in German:

Energieerhaltungssatz: Wer in die Steckdose greift und Energie erhält, macht einen Satz.

[mnementh]

That feels very like my joke aboot the Real 3 Laws of Thermodynamics:

1) You cannot win.
2) You can't break even.
3) You can't even get out of the game.

mnem
Qbert != Qubit.

[vk6zgo]

This one just only works in German:

Energieerhaltungssatz: Wer in die Steckdose greift und Energie erhält, macht einen Satz.

Mein Gott! Ich musste nach einer Übersetzungsseite suchen!

That really freaked out Windows 'suggestions".

[Cubdriver]

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[BU508A]

@mnem: no time for retirement.

Hydrogen_atoms_stars.jpeg

reaper_challenge_cushion.jpeg

[AVGresponding]

Why is the penguin's shop never empty?

Because the fish fillet

[mnementh]

Now sit right up, and I'll tell y'all a salty tale... one ye'll not likely believe! Aboot how I braved the machine known as Verizon, and wrested from its maw some actual customer service!!!

Murmurs emanate from the Discord; things like "bollocks!" "pfft!" and "Go post in the prana thread, you fantasist!"

I'll admit it were a bit touch & go there; I had to beat back the voice-menu golem! But eventually it fell to repeated pressing of 0 on my dialpad!

'strewth, I swear it!

After the VM golem fell, I was somehow magically connected to Andrea ( I may have uttered "Shibboleet!" several times while the line clicked and buzzed in my ear)... who listened patiently as I explained what I was calling for, and she answered that she was Tier2 Support!!! and she could actually help me!!!

Aye, as sure as dragons are scaly, I promise, 'tis not a lie!!!

More heckling from the Discord; we all know who asked this: "Tier 2 support. That's basically anyone not in a rice paddy in Vietnam or a mudhole in central Africa?"

But I had the answer ready; and disdain was thwarted yet again:

"Yes wey! Someone who clearly speaks English as a first language, in a pleasant northerner accent; like from Pennzzy or Ohio, I'd say! "

Anyways... I provided here with the IMEIs of both my old phones, and after much clicky-clicking of her keyboard (she had me verify the make and model of my phones; said this was the first time she'd heard of BLU) she added the necessary documentation to my dad's account so that either phone could be activated under their Bring Your Own Devices program at the Verizon store as long as I brought my dad.

And then... she volunteered some discounts that could legit save dad $20/month!

As sure as my wings are flappy, I swear it's TRUE!!!

More disbelieving from the Discord; a certain sparky snorted "Likely got fired for it!" "Nah, not fired, just sent to the "re-education mentor." "Yes Gladys, it's good to be helpful, but it's better to make more money for the company!"

To which I could only offer:

"I was really just hoping to find out if it could be set up... she did it all so we can just go to the V store, and they'll take care of it from there. And she volunteered that we should set me up as a account manager, so I can handle these things for him.

It's like I somehow got routed to the idyllic little plane of existence Mansaxel lives on, where standards-compliant is actually a thing, and regulatory agencies want to be advised of how to do things that'll work..."

Sparky replied: "It's always nice to have a little win now and again."

"Yes, that it is."

*mnemories*

[Cubdriver]

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