The Meme and Jokes Thread

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BU508A
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The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

Whenever you are stumbling over a nice joke or a meme which you'd like to share, this is the place for it. 😄

Example:
greg_ian_calendar.jpg
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mnementh
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

moo.

mnem
that is all.
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Cubdriver »

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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Cubdriver »

AB8E6908-99B0-44AD-9B92-435BD28B1963.jpeg
A674D6B1-8721-4021-B4DD-63AF2CB0D6E1.jpeg
BDE9606E-C780-4CA7-A978-02B92E40845C.jpeg
C445844A-9938-42E1-B6BD-7E335D8F15FA.jpeg
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

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ghost_young_lady.jpg
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BU508A
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

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mnementh
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

Image

"Dude, you have GOT to stop doing this. I'm with her now; just move on."

mnem
caption by yours truly. (tho probably something similar to what New Yorker hid behind a paywall)

.

.
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Specmaster »

ghost_young_lady.jpg
Meatballs.jpg
Squirrel.jpg
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Who let Murphy in?

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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Cubdriver »

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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Specmaster »

lost and found.jpg
flattery.jpg
fireworks.jpg
electric classic.jpg
dieting.jpg
cats and dogs.jpg
broom.jpg
bake120.jpg
Cleaning up my computer, I came across these.
neighbourhood.jpg
map flat.jpg
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Specmaster »

And I found these.
resting place.jpg
pinomore.jpg
oh great.jpg
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

Cubdriver wrote: Mon Jul 24, 2023 6:46 pm
HDDBOC.JPG
Image

mnem
alternately...
Image
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Specmaster »

almost there.jpg
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gardener.jpg
horny.jpg
how.jpg
soda.jpg
wash hands.jpg
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

Image

. . . . . . dafuq?!?

mnem
this is where I usually put some pithy comment.
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BU508A
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

mnementh wrote: Mon Jul 31, 2023 1:32 pm Image

. . . . . . dafuq?!?

mnem
this is where I usually put some pithy comment.
Where's your pineapple?

:lol: :lol:
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Specmaster »

Sod that, where's your pizza :lol: :lol: :lol:
Who let Murphy in?

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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

BU508A wrote: Mon Jul 31, 2023 1:51 pm
mnementh wrote: Mon Jul 31, 2023 1:32 pm Image

. . . . . . dafuq?!?

mnem
this is where I usually put some pithy comment.
Where's your pineapple?

:lol: :lol:
Image

All around my Piña Colada; exactly where a pineapple belongs. :rofl:

mnem
would if you could. :smiling_imp:
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

Specmaster wrote: Mon Jul 31, 2023 1:57 pm Sod that, where's your pizza :lol: :lol: :lol:
Mounty polluted it with a pineapple, so I had to put it out of its misery...

mnem
Image

. . . . . . . . . . Kill it!!! Kill it with FIRE!!!
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

Image
tggzzz
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by tggzzz »

That's irritatingly good; I'm now infected with that ear worm :(
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by Zenith »

Very good.

They missed rumpy pumpy off the list.
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

Yeah, "Lickies & Stickies" means something completely different where I come from. :rofl:

mnem
and bra, of course, = over the shoulder boulder holder.
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by BU508A »

A friend of mine has sent me this:
https://12decode.de/zonenklaus/wordpres ... tlinie.pdf

I have copied the text once and translated it via DeepL. Have fun with it!

German part:
Richtlinien für das Grüßen im Betrieb
Pilotversuch zur Einführung einer Grußordnung für die Mitarbeiter.

In Ermangelung einheitlicher Regelungen und gesetzlicher Bestimmungen sind die innerbetrieblichen Grußgewohnheiten völlig dem Zufall überlassen. Dies führt zwangsläufig immer wieder zu

- Mißverständnissen
- Untergrabung der Autorität
- Spannung zwischen Gleichgestellten, zwischen Vorgesetzten und Untergebenen, Jüngeren und Älteren wie männlichen und weiblichen Beschäftigten.

Um diesen Mißstand zu beseitigen, wurde vom arbeitspsychologischen und arbeitspädagogischen Arbeitskreis eine Grußordnung erarbeitet, die alle Fragen des Grüßens im Betrieb erschöpfend behandelt. Sie wird in Absprache mit Hausverwaltung und Betriebsrat im Bereich Mch H/Bo 133 von Oktober bis einschl. Dezember 1986 in einem Pilotversuch getestet.

Richtlinien:

Es ist zu unterscheiden zwischen Grußrecht und Grußpflicht.

Grußrecht genießen grundsätzlich Vorgesetzte gegenüber Mitarbeitern. Bei betrieblich gleichgestellten genießt die Dame vor dem Herrn, der (die) ältere Mitarbeiter(in) vor dem (der) Jüngeren.

Dem Wortsinn entsprechend kann das Grußrecht ausgeübt werden, muss aber nicht.

Der Grußberechtigte grüßt anders als der Grußpflichtige, und zwar abgestuft je nach Stimmung durch
- stummes Kopfnicken
- freundliches Kopfnicken
- lächelndes Kopfnicken
- folgende Grußformeln: "na" oder "na, wie geht's" oder "da sind Sie ja wieder" oder "ich habe Sie lange nicht gesehen".

Der Grußpflichtige grüßt grundsätzlich, es sei denn, der Grußberechtigte gibt dem Grußpflichtigen zu verstehen, daß sich ein Gruß erübrigt (beispielsweise dann, wenn der Grußpflichtige dem Grußberechtigten zum dritten Mal am Tag begegnet ist).

Der Grußpflichtige hat die Tageszeit zu entbieten:
bis 10 Uhr : Guten Morgen
10 Uhr bis 11 Uhr : Guten Tag
11 Uhr bis 14 Uhr : Mahlzeit (leichte Neigung des Oberkörpers)
14 Uhr bis 16 Uhr : Guten Tag
16 Uhr bis 18 Uhr : AUf Wiedersehen
In der Winterzeit nach 17 Uhr auch: Guten Abend
Ab 23 Uhr (nur für Schichtarbeiter): Gute Nacht

Bei bestimmten Wetterlagen (z.B. Fönwetter / strahlender Sonnenschein etc.) kann anstatt mit "Guten Morgen/Tag/Abend" auch mit "Wunderschönen guten Morgen/Tag/Abend" gegrüßt werden.

Begrüßt ein Grußberechtigter einen Grußpflichtigen mit "Wie geht es Ihnen?" oder gar mit "Kann ich etwas für Sie tun?", so hat der Grußpflichtige nicht adaraus abzuleiten, daß tatsächlich eine Frage an ihn gerichtet worden ist, die eine Antwort erheischt.

Erwidert ein Grußberechtigter den Gruß eines Grußpflichtigen nicht, so entbindet dies den Grußpflichtigen nicht davon, bei abermaligen Begegnen den Grußberechtigten erneut zu grüßen.

Begegnet ein Grußpflichtiger einem Grußberechtigten, der sich in Begleitung eines Dritten befindet, gegenüber dem der Grußpflichtige grußberechtigt ist, so grüßt der Grußpflichtige den Grußberechtigten mit der Entbietung der Tageszeit und der Hinzufügung dessen Namen oder dessen Titels.
Also etwa: "Guten Morgen, Herr Direktor"
oder: "Guten Morgen, Herr Müller"
oder: "Guten Morgen, Herr Direktor Müller"
Dadurch wird vermieden, daß der Grußpflichtige einen Dritten zu grüßen gezwungen ist, der ihm gegenüber grußpflichtig ist.

Von 23. bis 25. Dezember dürfen Grußpflichtige auch mit "Frohe Weihnachten" oder "Frohes Fest" oder "Gesegnetes Weihnachtsfest" grüßen. Eine entsprechende Regelunggilt für Silvester/Neujahr vom 30.12. bis 2.1., wobei am 2.1. dem Neujahrswunsch ein "noch nachträglich" hinzuzufügen ist. Auch Ostern und Pfingsten (jeweils 48 Stunden vorher) darf mit "Frohe Ostern" bzw. "Frohe Pfingsten" gegrüßt werden.

Begrüßungen wie "Servus", "Tschüß" und dergleichen sind nur unter Grußgleichgestellten gestattet. In Süddeutschland dürfen Grußpflichtige je nach betrieblichem oder lokalem Brauch statt mit Entbietung der Tageszeit auch mit "Grüß Gott" grüßen.

Auf Toiletten gelten Grußrecht und Grußpflicht uneingeschränkt, jedochgrüßt der Grußpflichtige von 11 bis 14 Uhr nicht mit "Mahlzeit", sondern mit der von 10 bis 11 Uhr gebräuchlichen Grußformel.

Grußpflichtige können nur durch amtsärztliches Attest von der Grußpflicht entbunden werden.

Verantwortlich: Arbeitspsychologischer und arbeitspädagogischer Arbeitskreis der Siemens AG München H/Bo

#############################################################################################################

The translated to english part:

Guidelines for greetings in the workplace
Pilot test for the introduction of a greeting code for employees.

In the absence of uniform regulations and legal provisions, in-house greeting habits are left entirely to chance. This inevitably leads to

- misunderstandings
- Undermining of authority
- Tension between equals, between superiors and subordinates, younger and older, and male and female employees.

In order to remedy this situation, the working group on occupational psychology and occupational pedagogy has drawn up a greetings policy which deals exhaustively with all questions of greetings in the workplace. It will be tested in a pilot project in the Mch H/Bo 133 area from October to December 1986 in consultation with the building administration and the works council.

Guidelines:

A distinction must be made between the right to greet and the duty to greet.

In principle, superiors have the right to greet employees. In the case of employees of equal status, the lady has the right of greeting before the gentleman, and the older employee before the younger one.

In accordance with the literal meaning, the right of greeting can be exercised, but does not have to be.

The person entitled to greet greets in a different way from the person obliged to greet, and does so in a graduated manner depending on the mood through
- silent nodding of the head
- a friendly nod of the head
- a smiling nod of the head
- the following greetings: "well" or "how are you" or "here you are again" or "I haven't seen you for a long time".

The person obliged to greet always greets, unless the person entitled to greet tells the person obliged to greet that a greeting is unnecessary (for example, if the person obliged to greet has met the person entitled to greet for the third time during the day).

The greeter shall offer the time of day:
until 10 a.m. : Good morning
10 a.m. to 11 a.m. : Good day
11 a.m. to 2 p.m. : Meal (slight inclination of the upper part of the body)
2 p.m. to 4 p.m. : Good day
4 p.m. to 6 p.m. : Goodbye
In winter time after 5 p.m. also : Good evening
After 11 pm (only for shift workers): Good night

In certain weather conditions (e.g. foehn weather / bright sunshine etc.), instead of "Good morning/day/evening", greetings can also be given with "Wonderful good morning/day/evening".

If a person entitled to greet greets a person obliged to greet with "How are you?" or even with "Can I do something for you?", the person obliged to greet does not have to deduce from this that a question has actually been addressed to him/her which requires an answer.

If a person entitled to greet does not return the greeting of a person obliged to greet, this does not release the person obliged to greet from greeting the person entitled to greet again the next time they meet.

If a greeter meets a person entitled to greet who is in the company of a third person to whom the greeter is entitled to greet, the greeter shall greet the person entitled to greet with the deprivation of the time of day and the addition of the name or title of the person entitled to greet.
For example: "Good morning, Mr. Director".
or: "Good morning, Mr. Müller
or: "Good morning, Mr. Director Müller".
This avoids that the person obliged to greet is forced to greet a third person who is obliged to greet him.

From 23 to 25 December, those obliged to greet may also greet with "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" or "Blessed Christmas". A similar rule applies to New Year's Eve from 30 December to 2 January, whereby on 2 January a "noch nachträglich" must be added to the New Year's wish. Easter and Whitsun (48 hours before) may also be greeted with "Happy Easter" and "Happy Whitsun" respectively.

Greetings such as "Servus", "Tschüß" and the like are only permitted among greeters of the same rank. In southern Germany, those obliged to greet may also greet with "Grüß Gott" instead of the time of day, depending on the company or local custom.

In toilets, the right and duty to greet apply without restriction, but from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. the person obliged to greet does not greet with "Mahlzeit" (meal), but with the usual greeting from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m..

Persons obliged to greet can only be released from the obligation to greet by means of an official medical certificate.

Responsible: Work Psychology and Work Education Working Group of Siemens AG Munich H/Bo
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mnementh
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Re: The Meme and Jokes Thread

Post by mnementh »

"fuck off" is much easier to remember. :smiling_imp:

mnem
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." ~management
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